how the hell do i talk to people
Stand in front of them and press A
And in tonight’s episode of poor life decisions, I stay out drinking until 2AM when I work at 5AM and also seriously consider giving it another go with the ex-boyfriend.
No one else, I repeat, NO ONE ELSE on this bus, but your stupid ass has to come and sit right in front of me so you could hit on me.
women should never fake an orgasm. we don’t need guys heads to be any bigger. let ‘em know he sucks at sex.
mom: is that a hickey
me: what hickey
— Po Bronson, What Should I Do with My Life? (via simply-quotes)
straight white boy: what are you doing?
me: laying in bed
straight white boy: anything else? ;)
straight white boy: are you sure? ;)
I C O N I C
- diamond encrusted mic drop -
the “i’m not afraid to verbally assault a middle schooler if they look at my kid the wrong way” haircut